Deep down I know I want our marriage to work, but I struggle with how to act around her on a day-to-day basis.
First of all, I agree with kml. If no kids, do not have any with this gal.
As for day to day, you can follow the 37 rules, which come from Divore Remedy. Have you read that book?
Her remorse will not hold true until she really ends all contact with OM and goes through the withdrawals. As it stands now, you are her backup plan. If things doesn't work out OM, she has the security of knowing ole Achi is waiting for her. When you confronted her, it may have been more panic than remorse you were seeing.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
