To echo what Zues said, theres a big difference between setting a boundary around yourself and being controlling.
For example, saying something like "I dont want to be around OW" is different from "You cant bring OW here".
See how the first is focused on you and your needs, while the second one is controlling and about what he can and cant do?
The more that you try to control his actions, the more resistant he will be. Focus on you and what you will or will not tolerate, not on what he needs to do to accommodate that.
