hold on!! - 12

[u-turn]

Thank you so much for your insight here Jelly. I have a lot to chew on here. I want to read this closely and absorb it (I will respond soon).
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I thought I was protecing the kids, working with WW to tell them as parents. Still teaching them.

Then on his 18th birthday, my son comes to see me at school and asks me why his mom changed her name on facebook (I don't go on facebook and have been blocked by WW for many months anyway). I was told him that I would talk to him later about this (I didn't want this conversation at school).

S18 sat with me and asked me about it again today - he is smart and had it all figured out anyway. I had the conv. with him. I told him that we are getting D, he asked lots of questions and was actually very calm. I told him what I needed to and we are good.

I told him about my worries with D15 and he said that they have talked and she knows this is coming too.

He said that this is good for me, and may be good for everyone. He hopes that things don't get ugly later down the road (he has a friend who's parents d'ed and the battles got worse as time when on). I assured him that we were going to try to keep this as fair and calm as possible.

He said that he wants to live with me, but I told him that we do not need to talk about that right now.

He impressed me so much. I told him that it is possible that he will be able to spend time with his mom and maybe their R will get better. He said "yeah maybe, or maybe she will feel more freedom and never be home to take care of us."

I said that we don't know this, it is possible, but we have a lot to figure out.

I still think we (ww & I) can sit with the kids together and talk, but they know already - and knew all along. This FB crap just proved it to them.

I am really upset that she did this on S18's birthday. It is childish and heartless.

This FB crap is a virtual announcement to everyone (her family) about our situation and D - S18 said that FIL & MIL know about it now too.

WW cornered me this morning and she talked at me about her anger with me going to a L and filing through the courts instead of working with her and coming up with an agreement. I told her that I have asked for this and there has been no action.

She's angry that S15's fate will be determined by the courts - I believe we can determine a fair custody agreement that the court will accept.

She's angry that we will have to pay for S15's college (it is guaranteed to children of D parents). I told her that this is a law and would have to be done no matter if I went to a L or we did a DIY type D. and that I got a lawyer because I don't know the laws well enough to know if this is being done correctly.

She's angry about money - I'm nervous about money.

I think she is trying to make me second guess myself to stop the process. I think she is worried about her current salary, future earnings, retirement....
She keeps making a point of saying that everything is equal when I'm not really sure it is.

I do not want to steal from her, but don't want to be bowled over or bullied either.

WW put a deposit on a rental today. I guess she will be moving out soon.

I feel alright. I feel good about the kids at this point. I really think they think that I am their rock - and that feels good.

Onward