My WW loves her OOM

[dwh15]

Zeus slapped you with some hard reality above, and I think maybe a little too strongly for someone fresh to the board. He's right, but don't take that as meaning there is no hope. When he says the M is dead, he is referring to your old M. That one is dead and buried and you know what? Good riddance. It obviously wasn't working very well; any R you have with your W in the future will be brand new, and hopefully much better than what you had.

Now it's true that the odds are stacked against you but there are many stories on this board where couples were able to successfully R their M and are doing well today. There is nothing that says you can't be one of those stories some day. It's fine to have a little hope, and I believe it's a key component of helping us to make the necessary changes to ourselves. If there were no hope at all, then most people wouldn't bother to change a thing - what's the point, right?

So you want to have some hope, but there are no guarantees. The good news is that if you follow the advice on this board and from the DB and DR books, you are going to improve yourself in miraculous ways, and it's really going to help you move on with your life, whether that happens to include your W or not. It's going to be a very long process, most likely months or even years. For now, focus on the day in front of you and just take baby steps. What you are going through is probably the worst experience of your life. There are no shortcuts. It's going to be He11 on Earth.

All I can promise you is that it does get better with time, and little by little you will start to realize you are going to be OK. I agree with Zeus about making no major moves right now. In fact, I would wait at least a month. You are going to be all over the place emotionally, sometimes changing your mind from one minute to the next. You will not be thinking logically. Take some time to process this, and start to heal. Then follow the advice here religiously. The people here are all going through or have gone through very similar situations and know what you are feeling. Keep posting, do your best to get some rest and regular meals. Hang in there.