My WW loves her OOM

[Zues126]

Sorgan, we're sorry you're here. This is the worst thing in the world to go through.

My advice would be to believe that this M is done.

People that try to use DB forums as a strategy to win her back just shoot themselves in the foot. It keeps them in their grieving process longer (denial), it keeps them focused on what their WAS is thinking about them (attachment), it keeps them trying to control things they can't control (co-dependency), it keeps them from protecting themselves legally (stupid), and it keeps them from making real changes because they are only trying to control their WAS.

Many situations don't turn around. The few that do are often measured in years, and usually get much much much worse before they get better. There is no way you can avoid the full grieving process and be forced to get back on your own two feet, and walk for miles in your own life.

So what to do? Why do we have these forums? It's because you are at a fork in the road. You can either try force the world to be the way you want it, or you can learn to work with the reality of the world that you are presented with. No matter what WAS does you'll grow into a stronger person...and that is the type of person you'll need to be to be in an R anyway, and the only chance you'll be the person she could be attracted to again in a future life.

Let me ask- if you knew 100% that no matter what your WAS wouldn't come back...what would you do? I think this is an important question to start thinking about.

My other advice would be not to do ANYTHING at this moment. Control your emotions. They will be so powerful they will create thoughts and perspectives that seem 'real' or 'true'. Your friends will support your craziness. DON'T buy it. You are too emotional to know what you think right now. The mature thing to do at this moment is NOTHING. Just post. Vent. STFU. In poker we call this time-banking. You're making decisions for very high stakes. Don't break down under pressure and get reactive.

So, what are you doing now that you know the R is dead?