HI V- Yes I understand where you are coming from on problems arise that are not mine to own. I was pretty vague I guess I meant I can own my problems :anger abuse co-dependency ect. I certainly do understand what you mean some things you have no control over. and I certainly can not control everyone or everything.
things that burden me are my anxiety anger depression and self control/restraint. I get anxious then I get angry then I spew anything and everything. So the action I can control would be the spewing? And making a plan to stop from crossing that line and understanding where my crossing point is? Am I on the right path here or still not understanding?
PICK YOUR BATTLES...very important for me to remember....i am an arguer so i will argue with anyone about anything...bad bad habit.
I agree controlling and negative need 180's I will have to give more thought to that and get back to you. Seems so easy in my head I will not control not such an easy action!
I read CD No More and am working in that work book and the relationship rescue (dr phil) workbook. I did see the author of CD has a 12 step book. I have been trying to find resources on a support group but closest one is an hour away so looking into other options maybe an online support group?
I will google post traumatic growth I am also looking for a support group for ACoA again an hour away but will look for something online. I have also researched a couple of books on the topic just want to make sure they have some true value.
Zeus recommended I see that movie also. I did go see it and posted to him what I thought about it in the last thread I do believe. It was a very good movie for being a kids movie. It made me realize your emotions do not have to control you. you can feel them but you do not have to feel just one of them all of the time. It will be a movie I will purchase when it comes out on DVD!
poor decisions was vague I hate making decisions period. But I will learn to feel comfortable with my decisions. I feel this may be a part of the abuse (emotional from my parents) as no matter what I did it was always wrong therefor I live in that same fear now. Learned behavior that I can re-learn!
Over weight_ I won a bike at the races and the kids motivate me to go ride it! this is controllable I just need to CHOOSE to do it!
I feel I am emotionally dependent on ex. again Learned and I could un-learn and re-learn He does not need to control how I feel I can feel good about myself without him!
I have been trying to feel my emotions and sort out which they are. I am so used to only feeling anger and being angry or feeling sad. There really has not been any other emotions that I pin pointed. I know they were there but that does not mean I allowed myself to feel them!
Areas I need to heal 1. Anger 2. Abuse 3. controlling/negative behavior 4. Heal from all of the infidelity 5. Heal Trust issues 6. Self worth/self-esteem
I will give those and keep thinking. I know I will need to chose one or two at a time I just want to make sure I am on the right path! Is this what you were thinking?
What do I need to heal 1. forgiveness 2. counseling 3. facing the problems not pushing them down 4. acceptance again right path?
I will have to put more thought into the goals. I will try to have them soon!
