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rd500 #2603857 09/03/15 01:29 PM
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Hi folks

Well, I had the talk with S10 yesterday. And if I'm honest it hit me really hard. I was strong in front of him but the feelings have returned although not as bad as BD.

So he's met the OM and he likes him. This guy is sooooper cool. Great. He volunteered this information, his mum didn't make him tell me about the meet.

He's worked out the living situation. He knows he'll be living with the OM, his mum and the baby. He knows he'll still be with me 50% of the time.

So I said to him that I had hoped that his mum and I would work out our differences and one day be a family again. But his mum has made her choice and we need to respect her decisions.

I said that even with the OM, the baby and all the other changes that are going to happen that both his mum and I's feelings towards him haven't changed, and we will still be there for him, no matter what.

And for the first time he cried out of pain. He's cried during this because he was scared but this time it was hurt that caused it.

I hugged him. And then we spoke about something else to help him feel better.

So that was last night.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2603859 09/03/15 01:32 PM
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Sorry to hear the pain bud. It's all bo11ocks isn't it?


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy #2603861 09/03/15 01:42 PM
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Yes mate. It really is.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2603904 09/03/15 04:24 PM
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Hi NDY, it sounds as though your talk with S went as well as it could have done, and that you handled things in a calm and dignified way. I'm sorry for his pain, which I think is unavoidable, and it's good that he could release some of that with you.

Also, from you he is learning that we do get through crises and difficult periods in our lives and we can do this with strength and compassion.

You are making it through some very tough stuff just now, and are doing well. At some point you will be able to release some of your own pain and anger too, and keep moving forward.

Take care xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
rd500 #2603927 09/03/15 06:12 PM
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Agree x100 with RD

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Vanilla #2603938 09/03/15 06:46 PM
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Fantastic job with your son. Your a real father and all you can do is be there for him.

So sorry for your pain. It might not seem like it but you will be happy again one day and for someone with your strength that day won't be long coming

Take care. Rd

rd500 #2603945 09/03/15 07:01 PM
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Huddy, Sotto, rd, v et al. Thanks for the continued support. I just feel like I need to draw a line under this. I have to move on. And right now that's not happening.

I will ways be there for S10. Always but I also need to think about myself at the same time. This has to end.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2603966 09/03/15 07:57 PM
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The more you struggle, the slower the progress.

Let it unfold, time to go with the flow.

Time, no rush.

Easy

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Vanilla #2603968 09/03/15 08:03 PM
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Thanks V. That is sage advice but I need to stop. I can't continue. This needs to end so I can make another life.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2603980 09/03/15 08:29 PM
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NDY I just wanted to say what everyone else has said, great job with your son. You sound like an amazing and compassionate father. Keep moving forward. Big hugs!


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
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