z, I don't think that you believe that a W just being fed up with H and a W in EA/PA are same thing. I have set a no R boundary and will follow up on that if crossed.
Yes, you are correct, that was not the intent of the comment. My basic meaning was that YOUR path is the same...set boundaries, protect you and your children and focus on you.
What can I do about that? Maybe try bust it and expose it. But mainly I can let W face the reality of her choice. She will have to figure out her plan B and all that entails. But mainly I will create a situation where we both have the freedom to move forward. Limbo will be broken.
I believe she will not be happier without me. She will probably realise the grass isn't greener. That does not guarantee she will come back to me, or if she does if it will happen before it too late. I am really tempted to go down that route to try lift her fog and show her what she is losing.
You have to do what you think is right here. I will not try to convince you otherwise. as for me, I do not believe that breaking the limbo would be in my best interest personally or financially or in the interest of my children right now. That is me though and you have to evaluate where you think things would end up for your family.
I have thought many times, what if I write a letter or say 'X' or whatever to break this situation down or move it off of center...I feel that things will definitely change and honestly I have no idea HOW THAT would turn out, better or worse or JUST THE SAME NOW, just in different houses. The biggest issue is we JUST DON"T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR WIVES HEAD RIGHT NOW. I just know that I would still have a lot of work to do on me regardless, and it would certainly mean separation or divorce in the mean time. would that space be beneficial to her and to me, it sure could.
why not just take some space for yourself RIGHT NOW, and just do $hit away from the house. Your list of goals and GAL is great...I really hope you will follow through with them! that will help with all of this. you will be working on you AND giving your wife the space she absolutely needs right now...that is not mind reading it is as close to an absolute that I have...she needs space from you right now. Break all of the DB principals down and basically that is what you get...give your spouse the space and regard for them to make their own choices (learning to give up control of her and her life) and for you to work on you and become a better, more complete man. (that is just how I see it of course, others opinions may vary).
Sorry for the long posting again. I know you are at work. I wish you the best...from the bottom of my heart, I do. I will have a beer for you this weekend!
