I should not have congratulated yet. Had a very very rough day at work was very anxious when I got home and of course let one comment he made to me get to me I overreacted and an agrument ensued. All about how he hates me cant stand to be around me and he will never let his feelings for me change. So I listened to his rant about how he has lied to me before telling me he WOULD let me know if things changed and blah blah. After the argument I simply reminded myself not to believe anything he says and only half of what he does. So while it may be true I choose not to let it affect me and choose to not believe it due to it being in an argument. If it is true it is true if it is not than it isnt. I can not control him or the future I can only control the here and now. Plus I do not believe you can control those kind of emotions and I CHOOSE to believe nothing that is said during an argument because we say things we do not mean.
As for me the lesson I learned is I knew I was anxious I have medication I can take for those times I CHOOSE to think I could handle it and I now know I was wrong about that. the other thing I caught myself on was covering up the reason I was really upset. It started with a question from him about me watching the girls for the week while he camps with OW. I of course was already upset from work and this just pushed me over. When things calmed down and we started talking calmly I started to say I was upset because of him but I stopped in my tracks and said out loud to myself and him that one thing I am working on is figuring out where the feelings actually came from. So I explained I was not upset with him as I knew that was his plan I was upset about work and I let that affect me at home and took it out on him which was not his fault. I then appologized for my reaction towards him. SO in short I took it out on him when I was really angry towards work I realized this and appologized because I was wrong. That is a huge step for me because I always blame my anger on him. Instead of placing it where it should be and I also recognized even though I used anger toward him I was not actually angry with him1
