Letting go, really hurts (Smothy 9)

[Pyrite]

he might be. who knows? who cares? he's going to have to do more than that to spark any reaction from you right? its difficult, but it gets easier. and i think it is necessary for you to one day not care genuinely. i.e. suppose he...... says sorry Smothy, I want you back.

While you are where you at now - you would dive into his arms with a sigh of relief that you can start putting it behind you. out of desperation. this is not a healthy beginning.

In my opinion at least, I think you need to get to a point where you can enter into a possible R with open eyes, not clouded by this grief you are still running from.

i sense that you haven't really accepted this yet Smoth, and the mind reading is a symptom. You have to accept that this is your new life. It sux. we didn't choose it. but thats what we have. then you can start to let go.

meditate, focus on wishing him happiness, in whatever form he wants. is this not the love you feel for your son. focus on feeling compassion for yourself and forgiveness and happiness the same way. but don't get caught up in WHAT would make you happy, just I want to "feel" happy.

(((Smothy)))