I do feel calmer - and I think that is something to work on. I know I tend to get emotional and can let his behaviour trigger an avalanche of feelings in me. I have a tendency to catostrophise (is that a word? make everything into a catastrophe) when with time and patience and some self control things would probably die down and not feel like the disaster I perceive them to be at the time.
We had a nice friendly day yesterday. I was in and out doing errands and getting new school shoes and supplies for the kids. Our son had a play date. I didn't hide in my home office in the evening, but sat with him in the sitting room reading my book. He was learning some new stuff on his guitar and I complemented him on how far he'd come with it (he really has - I never thought of him as musical but it's something new he's discovered he's really good at).
This morning was less good. I came down and he gave me a list of 'rules' for how things should be in the kitchen - where things should go, the right way to do a couple of things. This was out of the blue and not really connected to anything I had done or not done (I hadn't left anything out, hadn't rearranged the cupboards or anything) and I felt like a child being given a list of instructions. I got really annoyed.
I suppose a 180 here would be to apologise for my tone and to let it drop. Usually I'd want to talk to him about how I felt demeaned and controlled and how he shouldn't be treating me like a naughty child. I can let it go. I think.
Still waiting for the book to arrive, and still thinking about personal goals for this month.
