My Reader's Digest Version

[SParker]

Had a pretty good day today. H called tonight to say something business related, but lingered on the phone for awhile about nothing really. I think he's bouncing back from the slip I had had two nights ago. Overall, it's been a positive day.

EMMess- Thanks for the support! I have to tell you from reading your post, your initial thought on why your W was telling you that was correct in my estimation. I had done that to an ex and that was exactly what was on my mind. Your W might be very different from me, but I would place a small wager on her seeking affirmation. She was probably feeling insecure at the time. Keep on with the positive & things can't help but get better!

Azzork- I have switched books from DB to DR and am just to the goal setting part, so am not finished yet. I reread my post and don't see what anger you're speaking about. Could you further elaborate so I might see?
Although I just got approved to post things on this site two days ago, I have been all over while waiting on books and approval. No, it hasn't been that long since my M took a huge nose-dive. But what a wake-up call! It sometime seems like a lifetime ago. I haven't had enough time to become who I want to be, but I'm not waiting before jumping in to change head-first. We all have to start somewhere & there's no time like now.

I also don't see pursuing your H or W as "chasing" after them. I don't see it as winning or losing either, just being the one to make positive changes for the best outcome possible. I'm not stalking my H by any means. I could get back into my business legally if I wanted. Just unwilling to make him feel insecure right now.

A lot of the blame for where we are at now is mine. I didn't accept it before & it's time I did. But this process isn't about blame. I don't understand what you mean by "give in to anything he's asking of you," not jumping through "hoops" in my opinion. I feel that I'm just being caring and respectful of my H for a change. DR talks about evoking the change you want to see in your M. I'm working on doing that.

If one person in the R changes, the R has to change. It's a symbiotic relationship of sorts. I definitely don't feel like a doormat. I already have his love, and always have. H was just trying to fix relationship & not stay in a bad one. H blames me for his unhappiness just like I have him for years now. Not an easy problem & there's no quick solution. I just hope that by DRing, I can find a solution in time for M.

My two cents. Have a great night & hopefully I'll have my goals up soon.