So after all of this I find that I am not able to even look at W, be in the same room with her, or even even talk to her. 90% of communication is about kids and is by email and even that is hard.
I am just so profoundly shocked and shaken and dissapointed to my core that I don't think I will be ever able to speak to her or have a conversation with her again. That is challenging becuase we have kids. So our spreadsheet serves in that capacity. When we did have to meet to pick up kids, we don't acknowledge one another, just text "here" and she brings the kids out and vice versa.
WTF is wrong with me? Last Saturday when we did talk - about her proposed trip with her AP and our kids, she asked me how I could amputate her out of my life after 19 years? I had no answer for her and still don't.
Does anyone have the same situation? Is this post traumatic shock disorder or just plain stubborness on my part. Today she sent about 6 differnt emails about kids, schedules, coordination, updates, drop off's etc.... that it just overloaded my brain and I could not deal. I feel I have been made mute by this experience when I have to deal with her in any capacity. I feel my face is numb and emotionless.
I don't want to be this way, I have accepted everything, but is this just a part of the grieving process? I do't want it to be viewed as a passive agressive action on my part but I am honestly unable to be anywhere near her.
