My Reader's Digest Version

[SParker]

Thanks for responding!

Yes, he did change the locks, then went dark! It was after this that he has wanted to work on M somewhat. Says he hasn't given up yet & has some hope for us, but it will take time.

I will further elaborate on how I'm pursuing...
I send an encouraging and complementary text every morning.
(He has given me much positive feedback on this.)
I only pursue is he is calling or wants to meet.
(Getting great practice at validating! He took me out to buy me & the kids milkshakes one night & starred at me, very emotionally & remarked that he had never heard me empathize before. He tenderly touched my leg and complimented me on it.)
I have asked if he needs anything when going somewhere. (Acts of service, one of his LLs.)

We have specifically talked about this very recently and he has stated that he does need me to pursue him, but I do leave him alone unless I get the feeling from him that he wants interaction with me.


I know the changes are for me, but they do benefit the M as he has been wanting me to change for a long time. I had been too stubborn to see things from any other angle and blamed him for my unhappiness. I had become someone I never wanted to be. The motivations for my changes are becoming more one-sided as time goes on, but it will take more time to get there just as it takes more time to change.

I will try to state some of my goals on here later today. I'm feeling a little more hopeful and empowered right now so I'll use that to physically work on things I have to do for a change.

Thanks again for the feedback, have a great day!