Hi Gabs, welcome back and I'm glad you did decide to come back. It is true that if someone thinks they know better than the DB/DR approach, there can be some comeback. But know this, people only post in this way because they have your best interests at heart, and we all want you to succeed at this.
My advice would be to start from the foundations. Go back to DB101. Read DR again with a pencil this time, and make notes on the key messages there. Also, keep journaling and posting. Have a look at Anna's thread in Infidelity for a great post on GAL by 25yrs.
From how you describe your sitch, it sounds as though you feel very much 'glass half empty' just now. But with time and effort you can change this. We all have to recognise that our S's are gone just now and build our lives without them. GAL is such an important part of that.
It is easy to look around and think - everyone else has a great life. That's just not true my friend. I had dinner the other day with an old colleague who is happily married and has 3 kids. She cried and told me she and her H have fallen out about her eldest who is a bit off the rails just now. Everyone has trials and tribulations in their lives.
As a little GAL prescription, can I suggest you have a look at a TED talk whenever you start to feel low. They are only 20 minutes and I recommend Brene Brown, Shawn Achors, Amy Cuddy as a starting point.
Also, in terms of GAL, it needn't be mega social. But if there is something that gets you out of the house, active, immersed in something, around people. All of those things are good and your life will start to have more meaning - even without your spouse part of it.
Oh, and the other thing. Two months is a very short timescale. Very few sitches turn around in that time. Think more in terms of nine months plus, and then you're talking. I'm almost 14 months since BD and H is currently filing for D, with OW still on the scene. My life otherwise is pretty happy though - I've come a long way since the utter devastation at BD when I left our home, my job, the area etc.
Good luck to you Gabs - you can do this my friend :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
