Have i been making mistakes too long part 5

[tkdmme]

I cant put my finger on the reason but im very depressed today. Nothing out of the ordinary happened last night. No fighting or R talks. The kids had a great time watching me play piano and they were still excited this morning about getting to sing with me.

Im sure this is just another low point in this relentless roller coaster. I feel alone. I called a lot of friends to come see me last night they all said they would be there but only 4 of them showed. I guess I should be thankful for the four that showed up.

I have been finding myself looking at other women differently than before. I have always noticed attractive woman but I knew I was married and I would have never cheated. Now with things the way they are, the thought of another woman is exciting. Not that I would act on it, but im being honest. just thinking what cheating on my W would be like gives me a panic attack.

Do any of you struggle with this? I cant be the only man on this site who hasn't thought about infidelity when the W completely ignores you. However, I know for sure that it would only make me feel worse.