Fast forward and my life is good now, but nothing magical has happened.
Go back and read my tag line, brilliantly quoted by Einstein. Read it again and again. And then just let it sit.
You're in the middle of the forest, sweet thing. You can't see specific trees on the edge of it. You can't see trees 100 yards in front of you. Trust that you're living the magic.
Not to go all spiritual/religious on you, but you are a wonderful example of God's blessings and an outward plan of the beauty that lies in store for you. Kind of like knowing you're going to share a 5 star meal with people you love in the near future. You're hosting that dinner party, but you have a lot of prep work to do to pull that off, right?
You're in the prep work, and everything is going to plan. You've opened your eyes, you've made positive changes, and you believe that you will have a meaningful, happy life. I won't say you'll get everything you want, but you'll be satisfied and complete - no matter what.
How can that NOT be a miracle, Sunny? You could have gone through life with blinders, accepting a cheating husband because you were too afraid to show the world and yourself what a worthy, desirable human being you are. Apparently, the good Lord wanted you to see how your STBX viewed you, and it didn't even come close to how HE views you or how your family feels about you. And He didn't want you to feel less than because of one flawed man who didn't deserve you and who can never, ever be the spouse you had prayed he would be for you.
He removed you from the death sentence of being married to someone who didn't have your back and who--for whatever reasons--wasn't the man you thought he was. And now you are a role model to everyone around you - a living example of God's grace. And I mean every word of that. You took this challenge standing up, accepting the buffets of insult and injury, and you kept going. God could not have asked any more from you, and you passed this challenge with flying colors.
I think I'm saying this as much as a reminder to myself as to you and all the other posters who will travel this path with us. My 25th wedding anniversary is on the 15th, and this year, my D isn't sitting well with me. Fortunately, I'm going to be very occupied with traveling to watch my D21 play Vball and I'm going to work hard at the self care thing and to shower love on those around me who DO love me and value me in their life. That's all I can do. And that's all you can do.
Hugs to you, Sunny... and to those of you who see her as a role model here too. She is!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
