WAH, in the thick of divorce

[ep0215]

Sorry I haven’t updated you all. I am super swamped at work and was out with my Mom and Sister last night after the 3 hour meeting until 10:00 pm.

Good news – We have a signed parenting plan that is in the best interest of our child.

Bad news – I hate this whole f’ed up process. I am not happy that I only get my child 50% of the time (60/40 school year split and he has to make up the extra overnights throughout the summer and the holiday breaks) and I am sure he feels the same way but this is what he wanted, right? I did not struggle for 3 years of infertility, fight tooth and nail to have a child, to have this happen to us. I feel like I am back to day one in the grieving process. I have been very emotional the last few days.

Dr. C assured me that when I got there yesterday that she knew exactly where I was coming from and has heard my concerns and they are very valid. She said she could take his proposed schedule to any child Psychologist and they would say “are you crazy? You can’t do this to a 4 year old”. She called me to meet early to plan on how to present the final option to the other party and if I am good with this final option. I said yes and we all agreed that if he is still being combative then we will have to go to court. Basically a take it or leave it scenario.

She met with H and his L without me in the room and came back and said that he was in a much better mind set today and he agreed to the proposed plan. Thank goodness! I did stand my ground on narrowing down when he can make up the extra overnights. That is up to him and his problem to solve, I don’t have to do that anymore for him. If he decides it is too much work to figure out and schedule then that is on him and I will get extra time with my S.

We aren’t meeting again until October and that will be over finances. I am freaking out on how I will support my S on my income alone. He will have to give me spousal support because with a 50/50 parenting plan I am getting next to nothing in child support. I just don’t make enough money by myself.

In 4 days I will be on the beach on vacation with my sisters for 7 days so that is my focus for the rest of the week to get out of this funk!

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I could not have made it through these last few meetings without you.

asitis - I will respond to your post later. I do like what you said about the communication/expectations thing. It is something I haven't wanted to change about our R for a long time but never did/do it right.