hold on!! - 12

[PeterV2]

Hi U.

By short end of the stick this is what I mean:
In the division of assets she would have owed me $156K but she had no way of paying me that and wouldn't call it a loan so I ended up having to give that to her as a "compensatory payment" - that is to compensate for her years of raising the children as a stay-at-home mom and not being able to advance her career. A lot of crapus but it was either that or go through a lengthy court battle which would have affected the kids adversely and made some lawyers a lot of money.

Then there were the support payments which included not only the child support per legal guidelines, but a spousal support payment plus having to pay for all the kids school lunches, supplies and extra-curricular activities which added up to $10K a year.

I had to take out a 2nd mortgage to pay for these D costs and am still paying monthly on that mortgage and will for the next 10 years, and that was 10 years ago, so I'm half way through.

After 5 years I was sinking financially so I pulled out the material change of circumstances clause and got myself another lawyer who balked at the separation agreement and petitioned to set it straight. Ex-W agreed after much gnashing of teeth and we cut the spousal support and extra-curricular support. And I was a bit better off.

But the whole process took a toll on my current marriage which lead to a WAW. So now I'm trying to piece this one back together while WAW still is blaming me for the conditions leading to her A.

I should have consulted with an accountant before agreeing to the sep. agreement but just wanted to get the whole thing over with. My mistake.

So my advice - get an accountant. Especially since you are not inclined to that skill set. It'll just make your new life easier, and save you from resenting your ex any more than you may now.

I also had my kids week about, but after a couple years when they went to high school they stayed at their mom's and I saw them every other weekend. Still those first two years I had them week about, we bonded very strongly and we now have a great relationship as they are all now young adults, 19, 22 & 24