Rebuilding but with NO Intimacy

[hopeOK]

So sorry you are facing these challenges. When you bring up the topic of affection as one of your needs (affection and not sex... for a lot of women, affection not related to sex is important & is what helps build their desire for sex) what does she say? Have you tried non-threatening affection (things that do not mean "hey, I want sex") such as hand holding while driving or things such as that?

It seems she wants to stay comfortable in a marriage but without the obligation of giving you what you need. His Needs, Her Needs is a good book that I think is helpful at describing the importance of meeting each others needs as well as detailing what the most common needs are for men & women. Would she be open to reading something like that?