I think I belong in Piecing...

[hopeOK]

I understand the tone thing as well. That is something I've worked on for myself... if I am upset about something, then I don't say anything. I wait until I am calm and ok, then I say something. Otherwise, my tone is bound to betray me and push H away.

I also get the "too hard" part. Sometimes it is overwhelming to think of all the things that aren't going well and all the bad habits that you've picked up. Not to mention all the resentments that have accumulated. It is exhausting to think about, actually. But maybe refocus on baby steps and reassure him that you don't have to fix everything all at once. It's really about the little things. Thinking about each other, being kind, putting in time. Letting go of the past can be tougher but when good things are happening, it is easier.