XW wants lunch with me and...........OM

[tadpole1025]

Journaling:

My (what would have been) 30th anniversary came and went. They get easier, but this one was just a little rough because it was a big one - 30.

I wish I could be happy. All I want is to be happy. I have no fun and nothing to look forward to. I want to be happy more than anything. My "life" is in shambles.....not getting anywhere.

Got some good news from S29. NO part of his wedding or reception will be at XW's place. Thank God. That's one less thing that I have to deal with/worry about.

My life needs to get into high gear.....I have no life. No friends outside of work and I really don't even consider those "friends" with the exception of my lady friend. I have nobody. No family is left and no real friends. I'm starting to realize just how alone I am.

I think I might be slowly getting towards acceptance. Finally.

I did get out this weekend. Went and hung out at the casino for a while and treated myself to a nice dinner. Not really fun, but it did get me out.

Tad