'Cause I got a peaceful easy feeling And I know you won't let me down 'Cause I'm already standing on the ground https://youtu.be/WwqHarJnQP8
Do you have a peaceful easy feeling? I do, but it sure took a while to get there. Not that long ago, I still had Ants in My Pants!
My world was rocked over 3 and a half years ago. She wanted out and was triple done! Triple OUCH!
I initially dropped into depression and floundered as well as the next LBS. Couldn't even listen to music! Forced myself to GAL of my own, even when that was the last thing I wanted to do. Faked it (PMA) 'til I made it. Last but not least, gave her space. It wasn't easy, and I was often in pain.
Shortly after BD I heard: "All I can think about every day is running away" and "if I feel this way a year from now I'll just go nuts!".
I worked on being the husband only a fool would leave. Divorce and move out dates given by her passed by without fanfare or movement towards separation. I never gave up, never stopped trying. I knew that what we had was great and could be better. Most of all, I knew she was worth it.
Around the beginning of my last thread The Five Balls, a little over a year ago, I came to a new and higher level of peace. Per Michelle's advice in SSM, I made the choice that because my wife is a good person, and the remainder of our M is good/great, I could accept the fact that our physical relationship may never change... instead of remaining miserable over it.
Little by little, a comfort started to take over. First over me, and then, dare I say, over her.
During our anniversary trip(s) a few months back, we took some baby (yet huge!) steps in the physical relationship area. I'm ecstatic! ...And a little concerned that this may be as good as it's going to get. ...I need to let go of that, and continue to accept and work with what is. It's the only way forward.
If we are floundering and miserable, it hurts and makes our life a struggle. It is also highly unlikely to attract our spouse back to us! This is why the personal GAL and PMA is so important.
Do something nice for yourself today. For the people close to you. For those not so close. For strangers! Make the world a little better place every day. You'll be glad you did!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
