Alligator Love

[Zues126]

Thanks Sunny.

Deep breath. Where to begin? And how to keep it succinct?

Essentially my L has done an unacceptable job in several key areas. She hasn't displayed the urgency I've asked for. Her communication has been abysmal. And, the core of the issue- her legal guidance has been flawed.

I need to be careful about how much I write just in case this gets discovered. I will just say that I have found out she has left me very exposed in some very important ways. Now, STBX and I are in mediation, and it's possible we could still reach a satisfactory settlement. But if this ends up going to court I could be severely impacted. And because of this I am at a major disadvantage in mediation because I feel forced to settle at any cost.

I can tell you I can't remember ever being so angry with anyone in my entire life as I am with my L. For the last few months I have been paranoid with the feeling that this isn't being handled right, but she kept assuring me, and I am just the lay person. So I followed her lead. Now I am stuck. I can't fire her as an L because that would disrupt the mediation negotiations that I am counting on to get me out of this sticky spot. But we can't drag this out any further. And above I only mentioned the lack of urgency...weeks roll by with no progress, she doesn't reply to my emails and messages for days or a week at a time. And I continue to double check everything she's doing and stay awake at night wondering if she's missing something because my trust for her is fragile right now. I have had it.

She was referred to me by a friend. This friend used her 10 years ago and has since referred others to her as well. He has heard similar feedback from his other friend. I was too upset to talk to my L...I am a conflict avoider, and what happens is when I get too upset I become too polite because I'm afraid of losing my temper altogether. This is too important for hurt feelings right now, but I am too emotional to handle this alone. So my buddy will be my lawyer for my lawyer, and he listened to me rant for two hours yesterday with the full play by play, bullet pointed the issues that need to be addressed.

Basically we're going to meet with her and demand better communication, extreme urgency, and flawless execution from here out. We're going to address the ways I feel I've been exposed, and the fact that I would've made different choices had I been better informed and advised. If she doesn't feel she is able to meet my expectations from here and resolve this the way I expect, then we are willing to have another L take over. Finally, any settlement that is substantially more detrimental to me than we could've achieved had we taken the appropriate steps 2-3 months ago is unacceptable, and I am not beyond looking into the possibility of a malpractice lawsuit. I don't expect that to come up in conversation, but she needs to understand that I'm not going to stand back and accept her fumbling around when my family is at stake.

I just keep reminding myself, again and again, that's why I am where I'm at. That's why I get promoted 4 times in 5 years. That's why I'm number one and am doing so well I almost feel guilty. It's not because I'm that good. It's because all you have to do to get to the top is not perpetually screw things up. And while it's infuriating to deal with, it's people like this that drive me to the top, and it's not bad at the top. In fact, I am not even complaining about where I'm at, I love where I'm at, and am super appreciative for it. Bottom line is no L is going to make or break my life, I'm going to be successful, I'll be quite fine, and I am glad that when God dealt out the personality disorders and I got 'most intense personality of 1979' that at least it comes with fringe benefits...