Quote: It seems from several guys that I asked that ML does not lead to love, but if a man already feels love, then ML does reinforce those feelings and let them grow stronger.
Rott - from this guy's POV (and BTW, I am a guy who is desperately trying to keep his marriage together), you are right. For me, ML is probably the most sincere and "naked" (pardon the pun) expression of the love I feel for my wife, and is why the lack of physical contact is so painful. Less intimate physical expressions (foot rub, back rub, holding hands, stroking hair) are also important to me and sorely missed. Why? Because I am not the most impressive communicator in my R - my wife can talk rings around me and have me going in verbal cricles, especially in a more heated moment (not the good kind of heat). I am a better writer than talker, and a helluva good toucher (if I do say so myself).
Ironically enough, Rott, I think I understand what you are feeling. We ML for the first time in 3 months last night - at my "suggestion". It was more having sex than ML, however. She asked "would that make you happy?" I said "I'd rather we both be happy." Probably should not have pursued it, but I did. My wife was there physically, but she almost completely turned her head when I tried to kiss her, and her "soul" was just not there. I think she may have wept a bit, as well, but I am not sure and did not ask.
To another point in your post, I did feel the relief of a physiological nature, but I think there might be an emotional hangover for a while. I'm not sure, we really did not talk about it afterwards or this morning, and I'm not sure how or if to discuss it, or just let it go.
So to summarize, guys are just as messed up in the head as gals
