I like how you stated that! It is so true Zeus. I will continue working towards feeling those emotions and not letting fear win.
I had an aha moment today. A while back I posted H said he was going to find someone to watch D4 durring his camping time with OW. I reacted quickly and said I would just keep her. Here are my realization/thoughts on it. Its a co-dependent/controlling idea..sadly I did not control the situation HE did. Something I learned in CD no more was that we (CD's) do not control the situation the one with the disease or compulsive behavior actually controls the situation. I reacted out of fear he would let OW watch her if he did not find someone so I jumped out of fear and said I would watch her. While this is probably better for her and for my stress/anxiety for him it was a way to control the situation whether he knew it or not. He knows the kids are my weak point and His mom is a teacher so I knew she would not take her so I knew he would likely not find anyone or make me look bad for not keeping her while he was gone by saying I was going to be home anyways taking care of my D other option was OW would watch her. I SHOULD have let him squirm try and find someone and then if he could not find anyone and said OW was watching her I could have jumped in and said I would keep her not just jump the gun on it. So lesson learned He controlled the situation by acting on my weak spot and I ALLOWED IT. It was my fault for not realizing it was only fear speaking. Lesson learned do not let him have that control I can choose to control my emotions better and let it sit for a while.
