Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

I meant that a good filter to view things through is do what works and stop doing what doesn't work. I was second guessing myself and then answered my own question when I found out what was going on. I have taken advice from the boards here and from the DB and DR books. What threw me is that I didn't have all the information and had miscontrued causality. I was confused because what I thought was working didn't work all of a sudden. I realized that something else happened that I didn't know that poisoned the well. Does that make sense?

In other words, what I was doing WAS working, I could tell it was making a difference. When she started reacting angrily just to my being in the same house, I thought maybe I was pressuring or needed to LRT. Instead, it was something else someone told her and that set us back two steps. She even said our one of our last relationship conversations was a "heart to heart" and she thought we had a "breakthrough". Having finally gotten this off her chest now, I guess we will see how that wound will heal. It is just hard hearing about how wrong I was for reacting when I first found out about the EA instead of her having any self-awareness for having the EA in the first place.