Hi Rottzilla, I hope I didn't imply that I thought your concerns were silly, I sure don't, in fact I struggle with trying to figure out what's in my H's head. The reason I asked if it was new or long-standing behavior is that if a person had always done things the way your H is, it would seem like the kind of ritualistic behaviors that people w/OCD sometimes have....but obviously, this is new stuff for him, so that wouldnt be it.
It's so hard (and crazy making for me) to have a clue as to what might be in their minds, yet how the heck are we supposed to respond in a positive way if we're clueless?
It sounds to me like maybe your H has VERY strong feelings for you, and that the touching and eye contact reinforces those. Right now he seems kind of scared of his feelings, so maybe he avoids them by avoiding the intimacy that comes from the touch and eye contact? I don't know if that's accurate, just something that occurs to me.....
Quote:

I'm just trying to figure out what H is doing so I can be Patient.


I don't think that's silly at all, that's exactly where I'm at and I HATE that P-word!!!!!!!even my H has thrown that nasty word at me in this mess!!!!!!
In the context of trying to figure out what's in a guys head, I have a sex question for the guys if you don't mind.
You made the comment about getting sex but not ml.....recently i've sensed a "shift" most of the time in my H more towards the ML, in the way he holds and kisses, etc.....Sometimes though, it is "just sex"; what makes the difference for a guy from wanting one or the other??????I can't figure this out....don't know if I worded the question to make any sense, either. Sometimes sex is more intense yet also more intimate, more of a ML experience, after some of our heated discussions....day before valentines and last Thursday night come to mind....Why would this be?
Something else I wonder about: within the last 2 months, H is just absolutely "wiped out" after ML (but not so much after "just sex")....he will even say "I can hardly move"....sometimes he will actually drift off to sleep while he's holding me....I don't remember him being like this before, except I think maybe when we were 1st married. causes this? is it something emotional, or is there a physical difference, or a combination, or just "old age"? Since it is a new change in behavior, I am mystified by it...guys have any thoughts?

been around awhile!