I hope you know im a big supporter of you and so you read this in the spirit its meant but get yourself a cup of tea, because this is a tea moment (preferably with some chocolate hobnobs)
What do YOU want RD?
Take away the restrictions, the ifs, buts and maybes and just think about what you want but purely from a RD centric point if view....
I ask because I'm not sure you know, and that is absolutely fine. But what you want is something that you should probably give some thought to.
We have to ask ourselves whether a course of action is moving us closer or farther from our goal(s). Sometimes they keep us at exactly the same distance but without knowing what our goals are we can't tell.
Our goals can be vague and intangible, like something as simply as 'I want to be happy' for some people its more existential like'I want to serve god' or it might be more specific like 'I want to make perfect hollandaise sauce' (I think Sotto's might be that she wants to be a medieval knight )
It doesn't really matter what they are, but we need to have goals and plural covering different aspects of our life, they guide us and help give what we do meaning.
What they can't be is goals for another person. That's control. We each have to set our own goals and for us alone.
So what are your goals RD?
I would like to suggest one for you though and that is to forgive, and I mean completely forgive, your EXW for everything she has done and all the hurt she has caused you and your family. To recignise that evetything she has done has hurt her just as much and becaysr she didnt know and different. After all we only really learn when someone shows us how.
If you can do that I think you will be in a much better place. It may not lead to reconciliation and you may decide that's not what you want anyway but I suspect it will help you in the long run.
Beyond that is up to you, but it best include some RD focused GAL or when I'm accross in Dublin I'll have to stage an intervention.
Take care RD and hope you take this with positive intent its meant.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
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