Hi Rottzilla, I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff I havent been here for several days, interesting topic of discussion though...you did a good job of asking some questions I've wondered about but not been able to get out. I sure don't feel like I'm in any position to give much advice, but I believe your H does feel something for you. I'm kind of guessing that maybe what he feels is so strong that it adds to his confusion right now, and thats why he acts sort of weird.
Is this behavior of holding your wrist and not kissing your mouth new, or is this something he's done for a long time? I guess what I'm thinking is if this is a long-standing pattern of behavior, with rigid rules to be followed, maybe it could be a bit of an obsessive-compulsive disorder type of thing?
My H seems to get really down sometimes --even has been tearful...when somethings up w/the OW. This sounds horrible, but I take a certain amount of comfort sometimes from seeing him look upset/down when I know it isn't because of something that's gone on between us. so, my guess is that your H's depression is most likely related to trying to pull away from OW....
I've just tried to be supportive, offer hugs, and yet give him space, if that makes sense.
As for the not opening eyes, I never thought about it...I don't think my eyes are open very much, now that I do think about it. I have had times when I opened mine and was shocked to find H's open....maybe I need to try something new there!!!!!

Honestly, Rotzilla, I know this is terribly hard and seems to take forever, (heaven knows I whine around about it enough on my thread) but it sounds to me like you are making amazing progress in a very short period of time.
Just a thought that occurs to me...what if you just ml for the fun of it sometime? Sometimes I make myself whacko by analyzing everything (yes, I know, I heard you just now saying, WHAT???not you Deb!!!) lightning will probably strike if I say this, because I used to be the most hung-up person that ever lived, but anymore sometimes if I feel down or stressed or worried, I seduce H just for the fun of it . Very seldom does he not respond....and I generally feel a lot better and less worried and frankly we have fun together. Warped, I'm sure, but oh well. and of course, it's not all about sex.....
Hang in. Honestly I think you're doing a great job, it sounds like your H is coming around, but is very confused right now (If I ever find the library these guys are all checking that same book out of, I'm gonna burn the place down!)

been around awhile!