Let's All Be Like Coffee

[Painter]

It sounds like you still think you can reach him with rational words and logic, or appeal to his empathy. And when that didn't work (which it won't as long as A is active, I believe), you got frustrated and angry. And you were trying to get him to agree that his behavior forced your hand, which is obviously not going to happen - you're not going to get his agreement or approval...

So better to leave him alone. These thoughts could perhaps be expressed in a letter at some point, so no argument could arise from it and he could think about it without feeling defensive. But he is in a total, irrational fog of denial.

I understand the hurt. I truly do. I think this went south the moment you asked him to sit down and talk, though, not later in the conversation. You wanted to talk, I don't think he did. Be cheerful, brief and busy. If he comes again, maybe have someone else there? I wouldn't leave him alone since he has a history of taking mutual stuff.