I just asked my H these questions. He said there is a clear difference between sex and ML, and that it depends on the woman he's with, whether or not he feels love for her and how she views the acts (sex vs. ML). He said that receiving oral communicates the most love and acceptance of him. Giving oral (only to a woman who views it as an act of intimacy and trust) to be the most generous and loving. But that overall, intercourse would be the most intimate.
When we've talked about the fact that our sex life has improved 10-fold since the bomb, the only concern he's expressed is that he does feel a strong connection and lots of feelings during the act and is afraid that it's a tunnel under his walls, given the fact he's dead set on D.
