Midlife Crisis and Emotional Affair

[BrightFuture]

Hi Lost, welcome to MLC forum. Sorry you find yourself here.

My husband of almost 4 years told me 2 months ago that he was unhappy and had been for a long time and he was missing pieces. He wanted to separate and he was going to find an apartment closer to his job. He said I was negative and I ruined every experience he has had. He missed adventuring and I was to blame.

This is very similar to what my H said at BD, except for the apartment thing (he was already working in another state, away from home.)

Sotto is absolutely to the point, that when men leave, they most likely have somebody in the wings, even if it is just a “friend”. I also agree with Sotto that you don’t need to help him in D, if he decides to go that route. My H brought the D subject about 2 ½ years ago. It’s been three years after BD and he still hasn’t filed. I also thought that we had a decent marriage and rarely fought. So, it was a surprise to me too.

I can’t really tell you if you need to ask him for additional time after three months. My H said that he wanted to separate and see what happens. Later, when I asked him if he made any decision about our M, he was surprised and said that he already told me that he didn’t want to be married to me anymore ( I guess they forget what they tell us… MLC mind…) This conversation was after he hooked up with a girl and was making plans to have a relationship with her. I wish I was on this board at that time. I could have handled things differently.

I’m glad you found this site. You will get a lot of great advice here.