Quote: WARNING, THIS POST IS GOING TO BE PRETTY HONEST AND STRAIGHTFORWARD...
Oh my.
I'm just free associating again...
Quote: If he closes his eyes, each time we ML, does that mean he is able to effectively ward off any emotions?
Probably not.
Quote: What about ML makes a man feel the most accepted and loved?
A variety of things for me, and the actual penetration part is NOT at the top of the list. I feel extremely connected to W when I give her oral. It is something I enjoy giving very much. It makes me feel very connected to her, very in touch with her moment to moment existence. She was rather shy about receiving for awhile, but once she realized how pleasurable it was for her, once she accepted that I really enjoyed giving this, she let me more and more.
W was had early on been somewhat insecure about ML outside the boundaries of missionary style, and it took her awhile to try other things. It bothered me for quite sometime that wife would not give me oral, not because I felt it was necessary to our love life, but because it bothered her so much to give it. It was never something I felt was necessary to a satisfying love life, but I did feel it was something she could learn to much more comfortable with.
Quote: I really am just trying to understand what is going on in his head and why he does these things.
I hope this doesn't look too much lik a 2x4, but maybe its really not that important to figure this out right away. Maybe its more important to experiment in the hope of finding things that seem to make him feel more comfortable, more relaxed, more intimate. I might be wrong, but maybe you need to back away from the sex focus, and start trying to build intimacy at a lower PT level, like really trying to make something connective with hugs and hand holding? What might happen if the two of you just sat together once every morning holding hands (no talking, no discussion about it right away, no expectations, no judging if it is difficult) and looking into each other's eyes, say with a five minute time limit? Five minutes can actually be a very long time in someone's eyes.
Oh my.
