I have had some very sad / down moments but I have my 3/4 supporters who always post even if it's just hello , it makes a huge difference
Hello. RD, I really don't know what to say, you are in a holding pattern, and that's fine. I did that for a long time, too, before finally pushing to proceed with D. It's an OK place to be, it gives us time to collect ourselves and think through things. When you are ready to move, you'll move.