What I need is to know that he's in this. And I believe that he's not. So I can carry on living for, and financing the life of, someone who doesn't want me. Or I can leave and get on with mourning my mistakes and healing from this.
SJ - He's not. I think it's clear that hes not in it. Right now.
That doesnt mean he always wont be. But, you have to change first. As much as it [censored], the onus of responsibility falls on the person that wants more. So start making the small changes.
My guess is that if you BD, or if you file, it wont faze him. I dont think it will "wake him up". I dont think it will save your marriage. If you want to be divorced, fine, get divorced. Its easy to GET divorced. Its a lot harder to BE divorced.
I just "met" you today, but it doesnt sound like thats what you want. Start small. Make changes. Monitor the effects.
