H has started an affair

[Sotto]

Hi Anna, sorry it's been a tough weekend. But look here - you went out and met some new people. You had interactions with your H where you didn't break down or pressure. You picked veg and cooked meals etc. All of that sounds like good stuff to me!

On the GAL, I understand what you're saying. It can feel like you are just forcing yourself to do stuff you don't enjoy. But there is an element of needing to try things. Of the various GAL things I have done, there were a few that I tried and didn't carry on with - Tai Chi was one. You know, I just didn't feel like having to remember a routine...

But there have been other GAL things, that have worked out so well and made a big difference in my life. Volunteering at the bookstore is one and my Social group - of the Llama, falconry, rifle shooting fame - is another. The important thing is extending yourself and building a life for you that is separate to your H.

I truly do sympathise that having him come and go in and out of the house must be so hard. I wasn't able to do that and decided to leave. Others manage it and I admire them. The important thing is that you have an arrangement that is sustainable for now, and that you can look after yourself - despite the challenging circumstances.

You sound as though you don't feel things are going well. But from what you post, I think they are going as well as can be expected just now. Please remember how unusual it is to see much progress at this point. Things tend to happen slowly in these sitches. You have removed pressure, you are focusing more on your life, let time do it's work whilst you work on you.....you're doing just fine Anna xx