SJ - I agree that actions send a much more powerful message than words. And I certainly understand where you are coming from on your "roommates" concept. Nobody wants to be in that kind of relationship.
Ive seen the analogy on here a lot about a wounded dog. You cant mistreat a dog for years and then be upset with it for biting you. It's kind of the same thing here, in my opinion.
You can walk out and leave him, but what will that really get you. No matter what, he is still the father of your children. You will always have interactions with him. Why not start making those better now. Then you can figure out what you want to do on your R side. If you were divorced right this second, would you jump into a new R? If the answer is no, then Id suggest waiting and trying to improve things.
The way I read your situation, you noticed a problem 2 years ago and thought if you ignored it, it would go away. I read it as you imagined that "time would heal the wounds." I think its time to change your behaviors. It only takes one to tango. Time to start dancing and see what happens!
