I knew it is hard, and you want to pain the go away but bear in mind that you have only been on this forum a month. You are at the beginning of your journey.
As I said before, whatever you do will not be natural to you but it will. Just to make you laugh, today I had to go back home as I realised that I didn't have any mascara. Out of the 10 years I have been with my H, I only wore it on our wedding day!
I know it's hard and you want the pain to go away. In the end you have embarked on a journey ( not that you wanted it) where you will grow as a human being!
My H went (I suspect still is) for an angry phase, I reckon it's/ was due to him not knowing what to do and in a way expecting me to do it for him. Unfortunately due to our situation, I decided ( one of my boundaries) that he is a grown up man, so therefore he has to start to make his own decision, and not wait for someone to do it for him! I was like that, and it scared me to make decisions but now I'm happier for doing it. My next big one is D or not? But not in a rush for it
