Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

Perhaps as I asking the difference between trying to rebuild a connection and LRT. There are many other sources of information that are similar to DB and DR and I am looking at them all. I do believe that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder. So just completely withrawing without attempting to rebuild the connection seems wrong. I understand from what you said, that GAL could draw her back, but how to know which to do?

Some people HAVE gotten their spouse back by being the better choice, validating, not arguing, attempting little love touches through a one-way text message or sharing an article of interest to her, etc. Making every interaction the kind whe always wanted can get her thinking "why am I leaving this marriage?"

Or, you don't try any of that and just live your own life being cheerful and stopping just for a moment here and there when she needs to know about a bill or the kids? She leaves on a business trip and you just stay in bed and let her fend for herself and leave without a goodbye? I guess I don't get how far to pull back.