Duke, you did well. I understand too well the pain you are going through, the "inhuman" aspect, the inlaws, etc. It took me a while to "get it" but I realized that when my H was acting cold or angry or cruel, it was his hurt showing. Hard to get it because it doesn't look like "hurt" and its not like he would accept comfort from me, but it helped me depersonalize his actions and words and detach a bit. And of course, my hurt was so extreme but I couldn't show it.
Anyway, she is hurting. It doesn't make sense to you now, it may never make sense, but she is hurting and you are doing the best thing possible by staying strong, calm, and focusing on your girls. Hang in there. It is extremely difficult, but you are doing well.
