Beckyb, your thoughts are, almost exclusively, about him and it's causing you pain and anguish.
His not being bothered by the change of locks is a good thing because it shows you did it in a controlled way. It could have been a horrible situation and you've deftly avoided it.
What have you done recently regarding your life?
Move your focus onto things that make you happy, break your cycle of negative or anxious thoughts, all they do is get worse the more time you spend on them. Go for a walk/run or meditate (look up the non-spiritual Mindfulness Meditation, it's easy and works wonders), just do something different.
Being blunt and not wishing to upset you in any way as you are a great and very caring person, if you keep on thinking and doing what your are right now, you will keep on getting similar if not identical results.
Make a conscious decision to change and act as if you have changed until you really have, this will make you so much better even if it does feel a bit odd at times. Be gentle on yourself and define your direction by looking inward at what you really want to do in life, what things have you always wanted to do, fancied trying or have left behind? There are many things, it's allowing them to come to mind by focussing is all that needs to happen.
Once you done all this and got it firmly part of your mindset, then and only then can you even start to think about your R with your H, if you don't there's a good chance you damage things further.
There is a wonderful person inside of you, let her out and become the person you are destined to be. You've got loads of us cheering you on, make it happen and soon you'll be wondering why it took you so long as things are so much clearer for you and less painful.
Looking forward to your ongoing posts.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
