Lou, I'm sorry that you are having some sad days. If you didn't have a few every now and then, you wouldn't be human. You've got a lot on your plate and let's face it, you've not had the chance to really mourn the death of your marriage and the relationship that you had w/your h.
I'm glad you opted to wish him a happy birthday. It sounds like he's finally starting to work on his issues and hopefully he can find himself and get his act together once again.
Sounds like your son's recent stay w/his dad has put some "punch" into his thinking. I'm glad he's found a job and is thinking about going back to college. That's a step in the right direction.
So, what type of crafting are you doing?
Please take care of yourself and allow those sad feelings to wash over you and then release them. Each time they come and go, you are getting even more stronger. I hope that some day, you and your h can truly work things out and get back together, i.e, be it as a married couple or just friends. This chapter of your life is still being written, so you'll be the one to decide whether it will be or not be when the time comes.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
