Ah well slight underplaying of "eventful weekend". Sounds like you handle yourself with grace and dignity. And also sounds like you achieved your goal of keeping wife emotionally intact.
From what you describe the wife's anticipated spew was well in character and not a surprise for you. Small blessings in these circumstances. A few completely inappropriate statements on her behalf. Really another verbal threat to your life. I wonder where she actually goes in her head and body in those moments she is spewing those things.
I am pleased to hear that your parents special event was not unsettled by these events, I know it played heavily on your heart and mind. Another small blessing. WIth regard to your thought and feelings of self questioning and feeling at ease. I anticipate that you will swing more often between these two extremes over the coming weeks and months. I say this, as I think this is a whole new phase.
When I work with families making change, there is a point in every transition, that someone within the change process supports behaviours that mean revisiting the beginning. What I mean by this, that change loops back on itself, the adage of the more things change the more they stay the same. It is the human experience to revert back to what we know and old ways of responding and making sense of things, particularly when a new event or crisis occurs. So as Cali would say get that spew jacket ready!
What I will also say about working with change in families, is sometimes a planned crisis is the best thing to create change particularly when a family or person is stuck. This has been a planned crisis and should be viewed as such U. While it feels out of control and maybe that it will be a run away train, you did indeed make a strategic move, to get change happening for your family. This was needed, for lots of reasons and at lots of different levels.
I respect you hugely for bravely taking on this new path to a new and better life for you and your family. Hold the faith my dear friend. And know I have a seat at the very back of the roller coaster, riding every new bump with that is likely to occur.
Btw, great list about how to tell the children. Note there were a couple of questions of asked my parents when they told me and my sisters. I was 13 years old at the time, one who was I going to live with ( I sooooo didn't want to live with my father) and the other was I didn't want to change schools.
I look forward to your next post, just to hear how your are.
