Jim0987 #15 - Further on up the road

[jim0987]

Good morning.

Well another late night last night. Met up with a friend to celebrate some very good news he just received. Didn't do too much yesterday as I was really tired and its a bit too rainy today for a bike ride.

V, I think I've said before but in the ge days after BD I bought her narrative hook,line and sinker. I could only do that because I could see the ways in which my conduct was a long way short of what I would want. I can make all the rationalisation about how it was reactive to the constant rejection and shame I felt buy doesn't change the bits I don't like. I don't think it was abusive but can see how she could say it was.

Sotto, yes she is holding it pretty tightly. She knows I know she is lying about OM1 but actually I don't think it's me she is lying to anymore.

Oh and from anecdotal experience I don't believe those cheating stats when talking about long term relationships. I now know personally of more than 20 marriages/very long relationships that have ended and involved a 3rd party but its about 4:1 where its the woman that cheated.

RD, I don't think she said I'm unfaithful, she has told many people in abusive. I think it's more the conclusion people have jumped to. I've corrected them and given for over a month OM1 has been helping XW to collect the kids I think most people probably have a better idea of what really happened. If asked I say that she left me for OM1.

Stacey, hi and thanks for posting. Welcome. I always wonder who reads and doesn't post. I know I read many more threads than I post on. My friend who was saying that was very drunk at the time in it was in the context of a different discussion. He did also say that happiness won't last and talked about limerence. Still wasn't great to hear though.

In a lot of ways I hope my XWs R is one of the few that defies the odds. The longer it goes on the more attached my kids get and I don't want them hurt anymore than they have been. I'm glad that I don't have to look at D4 when she gets upset by this and know I chose this - because I didn't and still wouldn't chose this.

Thanks again for posting.