I'm feeling hopeless today. I'm fine but the more I detach the more I realize that the chances my w will come around are slim at best. She has been in Atlanta all weekend with a friend. I'm here with the kids. We had great weekend. I haven't spoke with w all weekend and she hasn't called. She sent a message through my D12 for me to get some stuff for our S10. She couldn't even call me for that.
maybe I'm confused. What does detachment have to do with this? But yes, the chances were already slim - maybe it's more that you are starting to see that? On the plus side, you had a great weekend!
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
I've been following the rules perfectly for a few weeks now. I know things take time but I also know that our R will never be healed if I give up. Honestly I'm not sure what the difference between giving up and Dbing is. It seems that the whole idea is to let go and gal. Am I wrong about this?
This sounds like you're being impatient! Your R can't be healed unless BOTH of you are interested in healing. If you were a doctor, you can bandage something, but if the patient removes the bandages and sticks a knife into the wound, there's not much you can do. So, yes, you have to give up on the M right now. That doesn't mean that you close the door on the possibility of R later though.
Originally Posted By: tkdmme
It's so confusing. I know the rule but when she says she wants D it sounds like she has made up her mind. Do feelings really change? I know in some cases they do but in my sitch she sounds like she really wants out. Of course we haven't had any R talks in a while but she is still very cold and there has been no sign that she is rethinking things.
I haven't posted in a few days. I just wanted to give an update.
When you got married, do you think se thought "ITs too bad we are going to be divorced in XXX years." Of course not. The problem is that you are too focused on the day to day. The changes can be so imperceptibly small that you don't notice them. Or she may not be communicating them. Or you could just be focusing on the negatives. Or who knows what! That's why we all say to focus on you and GAL. Then you don't spend your life driving yourself crazy looking for these changes.
