as_it_is - my adventure continues (part 4)

[asitis]

So rough evening. Feel like I'm coming down w/ S6's cold. Already had been to the grocery store today, and start making dinner: homemade pita & hummus as the main dish. Almost out of garlic & salt. Out of tahini. No mention of these by W when we traded off. Drives me a bit crazy, as I always mention if I use things up. Call her to see if she might have bought replacement but put it some place odd before I have to get the kids dressed & run to the store. Out to store again w/ kids to get tahini. Can't figure out where they keep it & clerk has no idea what tahini even is (I usually get it at the bigger store but that's a 25 minute round trip). Finally find it.

Back home. Struggling w/ new food processor that is leaving things too chunky. Parts of the garlic were bad, so not really enough garlic. then S3 has an accident. Loosing it. Kids are out of control. Dad is starting to lose control. Hummus taste like crap because of lack of garlic & new food processor doing a crappy job.


Then W texts about getting Netflix set up on her laptop. Call & let her know that I'm going nuts & can't really help. She talks me down. Good empathy. Suggests I just get the kids pizza. Sometimes being single parent is really a handful. She knows this as well. I order the pizza and get her some help on the netflix (it's my account, but I had offered a while to let her use it) as a gesture of thanks. Shouldn't have called, but it probably worked out well.

We've really been relaxed w/ each other in many ways the last few days. Good conversations. Her interested in my classes & what I'm studying, my helping out with some gender violence prevention trainings with some other professor's classes, etc.

I really, really wanted to ask her to come over tonight after the kids were in bed. I really just wanted her in my bed for a while. Really strong urge. Didn't ask, but I really wanted to. Still a bit surprised by how powerful the urge was. Glad I didn't act on it, as while I might have just gotten a yes, it was much more likely to have set things back and raised her defenses again.

Tomorrow it will be time to get back on track.