Here's the thing - why are stbx so mean and cruel?
Is it a defense mechanism? Is it a way to cut the rope of attachment in any form? Is it because they hate the reminder of what they have done? All of the above? None of the above?
Hate is such a hard ugly thing. It is a mangy dog tied to a chain lunging at you trying to bite you with rabid saliva drooling. It is cold. It is scary. It is unreal.
I pray that in time hate will pass and fade away like a stormy cloud. It is only an emotion. Can hate ever be transformed into something softer, dislike and of course indifference hopefully.
I don't like to ruminate on this but wow - it sure packs a punch. It is hard to endure, maybe I will sidestep it.
It feels like if I don't give her what she wants, then hate follows. That sounds like fear on my part. Give her what she wants to avoid the hate. Must sidestep that too.
