"And I carry enormous fear that 'what if she's right about me?"
That's a gremlin on your shoulder Jim - I'll flick him off for you!! I've been around on this forum long enough and can tell you right now that she isn't right about you! She is continuing to have an A and is probably in part demonising you to avoid facing other difficult feelings. Feelings like - I broke up my family, what kind of mother does that make me, etc..You, like so many of us have made mistakes in our M's and now we are trying to own them and move forwards.
When we are talking about 'unreasonable behaviour' there is the major stuff - alcoholism, abuse, infidelity, gambling, out of control spending etc. Stuff that can really bring a R and a family to it's knees.
Then there is the other stuff - not managing to meet emotional needs, getting distracted by kids, work, not prioritising the R enough etc.
From what you describe, your 'owned' things are very much in the 'other' stuff. And you were the husband you were using the tools you had at the time. You are worthy of love Jim. Either from your W or from another lucky woman going forward.
Enjoy your dinner out
Last edited by Sotto; 08/29/1506:34 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
