Jim0987 #15 - Further on up the road

[jim0987]

Its a very nice thing to check in when things like this have happened and see supportive posts from people who have their own troubles, so thank you.

Yes, I'm off for dinner with my old next door neighbours tonight. It's strange that when we lived next door we didn't really socialise and I'm not sure my XW ever really spoke to them. Since BD I've started to build a decent friendship with them.

one of my oldest and closest friends came to stay last night which was good and a lucky coincidence. It also made me reflect that I'm lucky to have people like that in my life.

The D papers will hurt but I'm interested to know what she says. I don't think it will make pleasant reading and even though I will likely disagree, its how she feels and nothing I could ever say wi change her view. Strangely knowing that the woman I love and chose to spend my life with thinks that of me is one of the hardest things to take.

And I carry enormous fear that 'what if she's right about me?'

I can tell myself I'll be happy, I can see all the bad stuff that was in our marriage, and I can be confident that all of it is as much about her. But right now I'm still grieving for the loss of the life and dream that I wanted which only XW could fulfil.

more than anything though, I miss my kids.

Sorry It's all a bit melancholy from me, but I'm sure of anyone you have the best chance of understanding.

I am ok though and will hopefully be able to relax and enjoy dinner tonight.